Moved to Never Never Land

Masaa’ al-khayr

Today I moved into my new accommodation at Camp Zero (which I have been told is now called Camp Cheetah, why, I have no idea but I will await official conformation before confusing you all even more).



It’s a nice comfortable room as you can see. I have a television with no signal, a window with no blind (now solved with a bin liner and some tape – very Laura Ashley !), a desk lamp with no bulb (which doesn’t really matter cause there’s no desk), a sofa with no covers and someone else’s luggage in the hall (I hope he doesn’t want his room back cause he’ll have to fight me for it, the bed is way more comfortable than the last one I had !) – who the hell project managed this shambles ? Most of these issues are known in the trade as one of two things – either “it’s not my fault cause I didn’t spec it” or snagging.

Snagging is also a way of blaming someone else when something isn’t finished properly and is particularly difficult here because there is an underlying current of apathy when it comes to quality and workmanship. This is not to say that all the workforce here are slapdash but if you find one who isn’t then you should shoot them quickly or employ them before they go bad. We are having all sorts of problems getting the company back to finish this work and their boss is pulling what’s left of his hair out because we are now withholding payments……happy days.




I thought you would like to see a picture of the air-conditioned dog kennels. They have individual exercise yards, shade, and somewhere to lie down in the cool. They have a washdown area where they can have a shower in the morning and their food is kept in the fridge. Now that I no longer have a gym to exercise in they have better conditions than I do !

The dogs are EDD trained (explosive detection dogs) and the Security company uses them as search dogs for vehicles that come and go, as well as general site searching teams. They are not here yet but there are 4 kennels so I assume there will be 4 dogs but I’ll get a picture when they arrive for you.





The other picture I have for you today is what we jokingly call the South Rumailah Shopping Centre. Depending on what route we travel we sometimes pass it and it has taken a few passes to work out that these shacks are in fact shops. We are unlikely to ever stop there so I can’t do better that this picture but you can form your own opinion. They are the only shops we pass on the way from the COB to the site so they do represent a bit of a novelty.

Today’s inventory:


3 cigars – and out ! No more now until either my bestist mate ever in the whole wide world ever, gets me some and sends them out with the visitors tomorrow and/or the boss that’s flying in tomorrow brings me some from Bahrain or Dubai or wherever it is he’s coming from. Fingers crossed on either account. It has been suggested that I should try and give up whilst I’m out here but as my wife kindly pointed out, as I have given up alcohol, bacon and being a lard arse, giving up my sense of humour may be an un-necessary step too far. She actually used a few more words (you know what women are like) so I thought I’d summarise for you as I know you’re all busy people.


0 Units – can you see the halo yet ?


0 Dollars – there’s nothing here to spend it on (but I’ll have to pay for the cigars at some point)


Gym – Press-ups, sit-ups, tricep dips (on the sofa), curling (with body armour !) and upright rowing with my body armour over my laptop bag. 3 sets of 12 reps for each exercise. I was supposed to be going running with the guards but it’s to windy and there’s sand blowing everywhere. We’re going to try again at 6 in the morning – wait out !


Food – my favourite lunch today, kebabs with salad, humus and fantastic bread. Dinner here at Camp 0 was very functional – chicken or beef as usual ! The salads were a change though. Breakfast will be the big test…….


Weather – hot and windy, still no thermometer !


There seems to be a bit more interaction from you punters at the moment, which is nice, and it would be nice to have a few more so that I know people actually read this drivel, and whilst we’re on the subject, if you have any requests then please let me know as it’s hard enough thinking of things to write if my day is no different to yesterday…….


tiSbah ^ala khayr