Thumping Thursday

That's what the locals call Thursday's because Thursday's here are like Saturday nights at home (the night before the religious day) but at home we just go out and get out of our heads, get a kebab and go home. Here, because they don't drink alcohol they have to content themselves with lobbing high explosives at the Americans.

Today's inventory:

3 cigars - the crisis looms ever closer. Either the chap re-joining our team manages to get some at Bahrain airport or I have to resort to trying to blag my way into the PX !

0 units - it's getting boring writing it now.

0 dollars - ditto

Weather - hot and windy. I haven't got any further with finding a thermometer but I'll keep trying.

Food - I had lunch with a Sheik today.....as you do.

Whole lambs, baked in a clay oven and then stuffed with fragrant rice, nuts, raisins etc., chickens, huge local flat fish baked and covered in different vegetables, fruit and flat breads - bloody marvelous !

I asked afterwards which one was the Sheik and apparently he was the one in the red polo shirt.....a bit of a let down really !

I though I would quickly share some pictures from the journey down to site each day (cause it's late, easy and my brain has gone to sleep).

I have mentioned that we go to work in armoured land cruisers - well this is what they look like.

I also remember mentioning the British Consulate - this is it and it looks more like a prison. There's a British Police Station just behind where I was taking the photo from and that look like a garage......... maybe its a camouflage thing ? I'm not sure that I should be showing you pictures of this as I have been here for nearly 2 weeks and they haven't been round to see if I'm settling in OK or invited me around for a drink - I may have to sulk !

There's one of these on virtually every corner of the COB, I just think that they haven't

anywhere else to put them !

This Mosque hasn't got a single dwelling for miles around so you wonder how it got there in the first place - I guess we'll never know !

This is one for my Street Lighting friends because I know you worry about me......

I may be living behind that wall tomorrow night and the Internet is a bit up and down behind walls in the desert so if you don't hear from me it's probably because I couldn't get on-line rather than being blown to pieces......

Night night

X

the 7th.........

Evening All

Today hasn't been very interesting really although it has been quite restful in many ways (although I ache all over from my session in the gym tonight).

As I mentioned yesterday, I had to go and give blood for a test today as everyone does apparently. it's all part of the process to get and extension visa which I need if I'm going to stay more than 10 days. I did ask someone what they were testing for but the only thing we could come up with was AIDS - who knows. I watched the doctor take the syringe out of a sealed packed and he hit the vein first time and after that I'm not that bothered.

Giving blood meant that I couldn't go to site, which meant I had to find something to do at the office all day - I just about survived......but only just. One of the things I occupied myself with was trawling through the photos that we have from past site visits. The one below is of a sand storm coming in across the desert:

I'm not sure if seeing it coming like that is awesome or scary !

I have also managed to requisition a camera, at least in the medium term and intend to take a few pictures around the camp and of the vehicles we travel in cause they're pretty cool as well. (I'll try, for my own benefit, to make sure that I don't get into trouble but there may be a few through smoked windows..........).

I've just got back from the office from dealing with the latest emergency which was all the power going down at the desert camp. I imagine this must be pretty scary when you're out in the middle of the desert and suddenly it goes quiet and all your lights go out ! We don't strictly look after the camp that is occupied now that it's been handed over but it's nice to show a bit of interest sometimes. What it did show up in a stark light was the isolation of these places. Communication is difficult at the best of times. There are no land lines, mobiles are next to useless, even satphones don't work sometimes. The guards have trouble communicating with their operations base when the weather is against them (at night that might be a clear sky which screws up their HF radios), and with no power there is no Internet which is what we all live by - Skype is our friend !

The communication problem was solved by skype'ing one of the contractors that live on site in a separate compound, with separate power, and getting them to go and find out what's going on. The generator problems were solved, simplistically, by using that age old technique of turning it off and turning it back on again - needless to say, it's one more thing on our list for tomorrow. We'll draw straws for who gets the PR role.......

I have also done two things today that I haven't done since I got here - firstly I had to get someone with a better pass than mine who was going over to the American side to buy me a belt so at long last I have parted with some money. I'd like to say that it was because I had lost so much weight that I needed a belt but in reality it was simply because I felt improperly dressed in the belt I use for keeping up my suit trousers back in reality.

Secondly, I have been somewhere different. For the last however many days I have been from my accommodation to the office, to site, back to the office and back to the accommodation. I can't say it's very exciting but it's a routine. We have a very basic gym at the accommodation as well as a canteen and laundry etc. and I haven't had much need to go anywhere else but today I was talked into going to a different gym in another part of the camp. To explain, we exist in this massive bubble called the COB (Continuity Operating Base) which the Americans manage. Within the COB are lots of other smaller camps belonging to various companies (the FCO has it's consulate here which is something to behold !) There are lots of things around that I haven't been introduced to yet, mostly because I have been keeping my head down and getting on with work and healthy living but I have started to feel the need for a decent cup of coffee (there's a coffee shop) and someone came back with a 12" sub from Subway for lunch today. We don't have access to the American barracks where the best shops and canteens are but I think it's time to have a look around.

Today's inventory:

4 cigars - the crisis looms ever nearer. I had decided to try and cut down to three today and then less subsequently but I needed one as I walked back to the office to try and sort this power thing out.

0 units - I fancy a drink now, just because it would be different I think, not because I can't live without one - it's an interesting new feeling.......

$10 spent - my belt was $6.95 but I let the guy who got it for me keep the change cause I'm nice like that. It's a nice belt and it's jolly comfy, and apparently I can wear it through metal detectors at airports because the buckle is some kind of special plastic....... the excitement is almost to much to bear !

Weather - bloody hot again. I was watching the BBC world news whilst I was eating my tea in the canteen and roughly where we are was the hottest place with a number over it and I know it was hotter on site.

Food - the bestest spicy beef noodles and salad ever (and an orange) - I think, cause I'm not actually counting them, that for the first time in living memory I am eating my 5 a day. Vegetables and salad here are really tasty because they are grown locally and are invariably fresh because nothing keeps very long here anyway and are therefore a pleasure to eat, and besides, I can eat as much of it as I want which is better than going back for seconds of spicy beef noodles !

I was thinking about doing a "days to go" countdown but am a bit worried that if you actually know when I'm coming back you might not let me in..... I'll have a look and see how depressing it looks before I share it with you all.

I'll finish up now with a picture of what we have essentially just finished building because from tomorrow it's all back to building sites again!

Week two (day 8) or if you prefer - Monday

Gorgeous or what !

Today's lecture is going to be about noise. It's bugged me for a few days and it was only this afternoon that I put my finger on it - there is nowhere quiet here, at all, anywhere, ever !

In bed at night the aircon is going flat out rattling away, fans going air blowing, things rustling. "Turn it off then" I hear you all shout at once. I tried that, at 2 in the morning early on in my stay. I woke up an hour later soaking wet and stuck to the sheets. It's 30 deg at night and I don't think any amount of acclimatisation would help me there - so the aircon stays on.

I went to sit out side for some peace one night but we are in a camp next to the airport and although there is very little civil traffic (Easyjet haven't discovered the delights of Basra yet) there are constant US helicopters taking off and hovering about and generally polluting my karma ! On top of that there is no mains power here so everything, and I mean everything, runs on generators. Big ones, small ones, red ones, two's, three's and even four's, and all of them going flat out all of the time in the background. I got to site thinking that I would be in the middle of the desert so how bad could it be ? It's a sodding great building site, with generators........ even the site office roof rattles during sandstorms !

The most peaceful place (if not the most comfortable) is in the back of the armoured landcruisers on the way to and from site. apart from the constant mumbling over the radio you can actually relax a little bit. Well, when I say relax I mean relax as much as you can wearing a flak jacket which all seem to have been made for people with a much slighter build, and they clearly gave not a moments thought to where they put the ceramic plates ! So all in all, there is no peace for the wicked !

Someone asked me to outline some of the decisions I have to make and today I had an interesting job to sort out. The site where I am has been cleared of all ordnance to a depth of 1.5m (the site is a km square) and 65m out from the boundary fence. It fell to me to get a local contractor in to quote me for installing posts with warning signs about minefields etc. every 100m around the perimeter of the whole site. Whilst the 3 of us (me him and one of my staff who speaks both languages cause he spoke no English and my Arabic currently runs to about 10 words and most of those revolve around food and drink) were discussing the practicalities it occurred to me that although the de-mined area was supposed to be clearly marked I just hope that when little Mohamed digs the first hole for the first post, he's not blown to pieces........ I think we will get the de-mining company in to go over the line with a thicker spray can - just to be on the safe side ! The picture shows some of the 1044 different pieces of ordnance which were collected from across the site. I suspect most of it was just abandoned rather than fired at anyone but it's still a fair pile when you put it all together.

Today's inventory looks very similar to yesterdays (and all the other days come to that):

4 cigars (although there is a very significant chance that I will go and sit on the step and have just one more in relative peace)

0 units (although I may be tempted to a bar tomorrow night for a leaving drink - and I mean just a drink - you wait and see.....)

0 dollars spent (this one is getting a bit monotonous - although I may have to buy a round tomorrow so we could change two birds with one stone !)

Visits to the gym - none. I have purposely taken a rest day after 8 straight days of hard work.

Weather - measure at 51deg on site today with no wind and staggering humidity (please Alla, a sandstorm to dry the air out a bit!)

Food - yesterday lunch at the site office (we had kebabs today........yyyyyyuuuummmmmmmmmyyyyyy !)

Right, must get on with doing nothing - later man !

Independence Day

Evening All - and can I start by thanking all Americans for our Independence, God only knows what would have happened if we were still having to look after you !


I thought I would do the inventory first today so that I can avoid going to sit on the step for another cigar !

4 cigars

0 units (and there were a few hangovers around this morning so I'm jolly glad I didn't go to the bar last night I can tell you !)

0 dollars spent (I don't think I have ever gone a whole week in the last 30 plus years where I haven't spent a single penny. Even when I was in the Army, on exercise in the middle of a wood or halfway across the Canadian prairies, or up a bloody mountain, there was always someone willing to sell you something...... astonishing)


Visits to the gym - One, but I think I am going to have a night off tomorrow. I've been 8 straight days now and there is such a thing as over-training (that, and the fact I am completely bolloxed and my feet hurt)

Weather - bloody hot and very very humid. Today out at site, was the hottest that I have experienced so far. I can't prove that because there are no thermometers anywhere (rumour has it that if the temperature goes over 45deg then even the Iraqis can stop work - they appear to have solved that problem by taking all the thermometers and hiding them!). When I can find one then I will report regularly. Today was also the first day without any real wind to speak of. We have had sandstorms for the last 3-4 days but as soon as the wind drops the humidity rises and as soon as the humidity rises I start to perspire like a horse. The best thing about then getting into a air conditioned armoured car is, the sweat then cools (it doesn't dry out) and you sit for an hour in a bullet proof vest and a cold wet shirt.......mmmmmm yummy.

Interesting Food - I had an Iraqi lunch today. Rice, pickled ginger, cucumber, onion and a sort of chickpea soup which nobody seemed to mind when I poured the whole lot into one bowl and dipped my bread in it (the flat breads here are bloody wonderful, like every kind of naan and other Indian bread you have ever loved). Then BBQ for tea (which I ate cold, having got it and put it in the fridge before I took my halo to be polished at the gym). Nothing really interesting about that except watching the chef standing in full whites outside, in front of a huge flaming BBQ in 40deg heat - rather him than me ! Changing the subject tangentially, Amy is fascinated that Diet Pepsi cans are printed in English on one side and Arabic on the other.....at least that's her sorted for a present when I get back. It was going to be some sand but seeing as I can also get the Pepsi for nothing I might have a re-think ?

Here's the picture of the destroyed tank outside the site gate, for those of you who were interested. My AFV recognition is a little rusty at the moment (for some strange reason) but I'm sure it's of Russian origin and I think it's a T-54 but someone can check and tell me if I'm right or wrong.

Here's something a little more modern that would probably get me locked up for life !

Tomorrow I'll try and remember to get some pictures of the camp that we have just finished and the piece of desert that we are about to put 250 people on to live - Build it and they will come !

I am going to sign of now and visit the Magic Mountain (which so far hasn't defeated me, but then he's only just got off the train !)

tiSbaH ^ala khayr

Saturday 3rd

Bet you can't guess which one is me ? (there will be no prizes for anyone mentioning flowery shirts and boobs !) - actually, there won't be any prizes anyway !

In the background is the new generator for the little camp we have just build, which brings to mind the fact that I haven't told you an awful lot about what I am here to do.....assuming you want to know of course (if you don't want to know then look away now).

I am in Basra (and mostly in the South Rumaila oil field) to help build a camp for a large international petro-chemical company. When it's finished the camp will accommodate around 3000 people along with offices, workshops and associated welfare facilities for the workers. The camp is being built by local contractors and the construction managed by the company I'm working for. My role is 50% Quality Control Manager and 50% Project and Construction Manager - when I am covering for the Project and Construction Managers when they are on leave. We are working a 6 week on, 2 week off rotation so one or other of us is away during that 6 weeks for at least a fortnight.

The construction is phased and yesterday we received conformation that Phase Zero had been successfully handed over. Phase zero houses the client senior management and the security and "life support" company (FM to some people), roughly about 70 people. I have had my QC hat on all day, doing official handovers and trying to track down kit that the thieving bastards have been taking from cabins that haven't been handed over yet ! It's been a generally successful day for all concerned and will continue tomorrow as we finalise the snagging and drink tea in the shade (well, it is a building site after all, and there are traditions to be upheld wherever you are in the world !).

Whilst all this is going on (and phase zero was built in 5 weeks from start to nearly finished) we are planning Phase 1, for 250 people, with accommodation, offices, workshops and associated welfare, which officially started today - 121 days to 31st October (so our planner reliably informed me today). We have a planning meeting tomorrow so we will know more then but they've started laying roads and the sleeping accommodation has been ordered and will be delivered in about 2 weeks on the back of 58 lorries ! Plenty of time to tell you about that later.
I thoughtyou would appreciate a little atmospheric shot of the desert, from the window of an armoured land cruiser, with an oil rig "flaring" in the background - you lucky people !

My Arab managers on site have taken it upon themselves to improve my Arabic, one word a day - I can now say hello, thank you, tea, biscuit and nice (as in "nice tea" and "nice biscuit"). I have reciprocated by teaching them some of the finer points of the soldier turned Construction Manager's (how did that happen by the way....it's a bit of a blur) language - well, it's only fair, and they did ask ! We had fun today trying to work out how many different words there are for penis......... well, it is a long walk from the site office to the site.........

Today's inventory:

4 cigars

0 units (and I turned down a trip to a camp bar tonight in favour of going to the gym - I'm not sure it's me either as it happens.......)

0 dollars

1 solid trip to the gym

and I've started my new book - The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann. It's a present from a neighbour, and apparently his favourite book. I just hope I can do it justice. I tried to start as I mean to go on by not watching Blackadder at the same time which must get me some serious academic points ?

I was thinking of adding either food or weather to my inventory (if that's the right word for it - suggestions on a postcard please) but haven't been able to find a thermometer anywhere, and the things in the cars aren't that accurate, so it might have to be "interesting things I have eaten today" until I can. On that note, the cooks here are mostly Indian so the curry's are as hot as the weather. I just hope you lot appreciate the effort it takes to think of something to entertain you every day (assuming it does.......)

Right, off to the Magic Mountain for a bedtime snooze. X

Friday 2nd

Evening All

Firstly a confession - I'm pissed off that we didn't get mortared last night (and I probably should be grateful rather than pissed off). Even if the Yanks had got a bit then at least I could say I'd seen it..... still, don't tell the wife as she's already a bit wobbly !

Whilst we're on confessions, I wasn't allowed to resist a small glass of champagne last night (I was allowed to resist a second though so I'm not as weak willed and feeble as you may imagine !). So the duck has been broken. I guess I didn't expect to make it through 6 weeks without a drink but this was largely ceremonial so I think my credibility is in tact.

Today I have been out into the oil field again where we had to stop work for an hour because of a sand storm. When the wind gets up there is nothing at all to stop it so it just collects everything in it's path. But it's the heat that still amazes me. At one point I was sheltering behind a cabin trying to sort something out with one of the supervisors and I felt my hand burning in the sun.....except it wasn't in the sun.....awesome ! I'm a bit like a big kid in a playground at the moment, we'll have to see how long it lasts.

I did take a few photos today but for some reason which I haven't been able to fathom, I haven't be able to get them onto the computer to up load them. One of the others took some today as well so I'll get there's and up-load them tomorrow.

Other news - Murrey's losing at tennis and I couldn't get my washing done today because they were all having a day off - astonishing !

Does anyone have any questions ? If not then I am going to watch a film I think.

Today's consumption:

4 cigars (well 3.5 really but the other half is gone for ever)
1 unit (from last night)
No money spent
4 litres of water (and a can of diet Pepsi). The water thing is interesting - everywhere you go there are notices up about dehydration and charts in the loo to measure the colour of your wee, so when you first get here you drink constantly because you think you have to (there are fridges everywhere full of bottled water, even in my room). There is an obvious flaw in that - I have spent more time in the loo than in the office some days. Anyway, you will notice that the levels of consumptions are coming down now as I am getting the balance of the whole thing, at least I hope I am cause I'm hacked off with the trips to the toilet. On the upside, I must have the most flushed out system around !
1 quick trip to the gym (25mins on the treadmill.) I didn't have time for much else and eating. We're a bit limited here - if you miss a meal there's no chippy to nip out to or a pizza to ring in, and running after a meal is just not possible for me............

Anyway, time for tubby byebyes. X

Thursday 1st July

Today I are be mostly doing........not very much !

The diary of my day starts with waking up early and deciding that as I'm off to site and I was knackered the last time I came back, that I would go to the gym at 6 o'clock. Those of you that know me well will know that I don't mind getting up early but that the gym is probably a step to far. You'll be pleased to know that I survived, had breakfast and went to the office. I was expecting to go to site straight away but was asked to go in the second batch who were going via the airport to pick up the boss who was flying in to watch the handover of the first phase of the accommodation.

He took nearly 3 hours to come out of immigration etc.......I had long since fallen asleep in the armoured car by then. It's now nearly 12 when we get through the various checkpoints to get out of camp and we are in the middle of a sandstorm. The weather code changed to "red" and we all turn round and head back the 200m to the gate, through the various check points, weapons unloading etc. and back to the office - which is deserted because everyone else was now stranded on site in the middle of a sandstorm !

Consequentially I have been brushing up on my Arabic, reading the Middle East pages on the BBC website and ......... most of you won't believe this, went to the gym for a second time !

We have been warned that Thursday nights (the night before Muslim Sabbath) have in the past been and excuse for the locals to throw the odd piece of rocket propelled ordinance at the yanks down the road, and that the sandstorm will give them even more of an excuse - so I'm looking forward to watching some fireworks later (although I suspect if there is any it won't get past the computerised chain guns that are set up with heat seeking sensors to take them down - which should be nice !).

I'll try and sort some photos out tomorrow but I'm a bit limited on what I can take them of here and I tend to forget when I get to site. I will definitely make sure that I get one of the complete Russian tank turret (along with other bits and pieces) which is laying just outside the site gate !

Today's inventory:

3 cigars (so far, probably need another one later)
0 units (although there is a bottle of Champagne knocking around, to be opened following the successful handover of the 1st phase today, but as I don't actually like the stuff and I'm not that desperate for a drink yet, I'll probably give it a miss)
0 money spent
2 trips to the gym (I might have to say that again - 2 trips to the gym)

Oh, one last thing, you'll have to put the marching bands on hold, and change the date for the party - today, following consultation with my wife, I have agreed to stay until 6th August (6 weeks rather than the original 4).

Toodle pip - X (and a big X for all my friends in Wales that are following this - I know who you are.......)